TUESDAY THOUGHTS
It’s been one of those weeks for me where I need to push myself to
see the good and appreciate the loving. Usually I figure out what my week is
going to be like on Sunday or Monday. I practice all the self-love and
self-care I can, yet it does not seem to be pulling me out of this hole. So I
decided to share a little…Maybe you can relate or help…
On Sunday night I knew it wasn't going to my week. Monday
mindset just strengthened that, although I wore what I like, got some coffee
that I like, and work went pretty smooth. But the night came with all its
thoughts and tears to take me to bed.
Even though I try and be a very
strong person, to the point where my peers actually worry on my reactions to
certain situations; I do have my moments of dark and my days of peace.
Yesterday was one of those bad days. I have no shame in accepting the fact that
I do have this ONE thought and feeling that is not ready to leave me alone.
Yesterday was one of those days when it took over and for the first time in my
life I opened a therapist application form and stared at it hard and
long. Eventually I closed it, giving myself another day of consideration.
It is when we let our emotions take over our mind that we drown or fall.
We live in a time where
everyone and everything is one click away, even if that person or thing is not
meant for you. How do you disconnect in such a world? You can have a social media or technology
detox day but once you pick that mobile up again...it’s a downward
spiral.
Today, I spent whole day at work trying to distract myself in any way possible,
but this thought, and feeling is constantly nagging me to the point where I can
feel my mood being down, anxious and snappy.
Today, I am not sure what to do about this situation, so I decided
to take my own advice from Self-Care Checklist and create a gratitude jar. Hoping
that it will bring me peace and patience. (Stay tuned for updates on this)
I am talking about this,
because often we forget that our happiness and peace is in our own hands,
no matter how many loving people surround us. I often find myself faking smiles
and laughter's which I don't really like doing. But I am a huge believer in
spreading the good vibes. I would rather cry alone and smile with people unless
I am really drowning in sorrow and just need to talk to someone.
In the midst of all this, What I
am actively learning to do is 'Live in the moment and live in the breath, but
take the time off when u need too.'
At this moment I feel a weird
combination of feelings. The strong thought is there, but weirdly I am smiling.
At what? At the fact that yesterday I posted this on my Instagram:
...and today I open social
media and I see a bunch of writings like:
Maybe one day I will have enough courage to talk about my thought in clear words...till then...
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